Can one person really be so forgetful as to forget to post on their day right after they just completed a punishment for forgetting to post?

The answer? Apparently so.

(Also, here's a link. You know what to do.)

It's true, imaginary audience, I forgot to post on my day once again. I PROMISE I'll be better. I promise. I might even do an extra post this week to make up for it. 

My punishment, for those imaginary people who don't know: 500 words on the importance of embarrassing children in public, as well as examples of the best ways to do so. 

Here we go. 

I have been blessed with an extremely embarrassing mother and father. And really, my whole family seems to have it in their heads that embarrassing me is the absolute best thing to do in public. One reason this may be important is that it gives your child lots of entertaining stories to tell. For example, I have often told the tale of how my mom was subbing as an E.A. in my gr. 7 math class, when she fainted right on top of a classmate. She fainted. In my class. On top of a boy. My Mom. If you would like to embarrass your child, that is a surefire way to do so. On the plus side of this, it was one of the most memorable and funny moments of grade seven people talked about at the end of the year. Another important reason to embarrass your child is because it provides them with the necessary skills of hiding and camouflaging themselves into their surroundings. You never know when you might need to find a fast hiding spot, and embarrassing your child often we help them learn to do this at a moments notice. 

A very good way to teach this to your child is to sing a cheesy love song as loud as possible in a public area. For example, on a family road trip we had just finished watching a movie, and our family walked into a gas station store together. My mom took it upon herself to sing the song "I've Been Dreaming of a True Love's Kiss" (a song from the movie we had just watched) extremely loud inside the store. Of course, years of practise had prepared me, and I quickly hid inside the aisles so nobody knew I was related to that crazy person. 

The last important reason to embarrass your child is because a childhood is not complete without a few traumatic memories. Seriously. It makes people stronger. And maybe very distrustful of their parents in public. But it makes them stronger. I have many memories of my mom threatening to say something embarrassing out loud in public, and me terrified she would actually do so. I never know when to trust her. I guess that's made me better at performing under pressure, and bargaining with people to stop doing something. Maybe something good has come out of all this embarrassment after all.

I need about a hundred more words, so now I'm going to talk about how my mom is not very good at whispering. Seriously. We'll be sitting in a crowded public place, and she'll start talking. Maybe she'll start talking about the people sitting in front of us. Except, she won't be talking in a super quiet, barely audible whisper, no, she'll be speaking loud enough not just for the people in front of us to hear, but for people across the room to hear! (well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit). There have been countless times I have been so worried that the people my mom is talking about can hear every word she is saying. So embarrassing!
Hopefully that will be my last punishment for awhile! 

DFTBA!

Beth's blog: http://beth.120crayons.com/